


a pink carnation and a pickup truck

by ForestFish



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - 1950s, Alternate Universe - High School, Cheesy, Coming of Age, Corny, Dancing, Fluff, Getting Together, Inspired by Music, Loads of music, M/M, OOCness, Queer Themes, Rock and Roll, bc i had to adapt it to the 50s, coping fic, historically accurate queerphobia, mentions of the accident known as 'The Day the Music Died', references to the revolution and the civil rights movements, that's all now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 17:35:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29704140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForestFish/pseuds/ForestFish
Summary: Levi held the pink carnation Erwin gave him and turned it in his hands, knowing that an era was about to end. It was July of 1959 and Erwin felt it, too. He knew that was the last summer of their youth.
Relationships: Levi Ackerman/Erwin Smith, Moblit Berner/Hange Zoë
Comments: 8
Kudos: 57





	a pink carnation and a pickup truck

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, there, you may find typos but well, that's normal. Sorry anyway.  
> I wrote this in a couple of hours to cope with a terrible mental health day. Just plain bad. And I listened to the music and the music helped. Then I was a bit more relaxed and decided to unwind with some short, sweet, and cheesy eruri by putting them in the 1950s. It's a messy fic, but honestly, it helped. Thanks to my dear friend and critic who puts up with the stuff I write to make sure it doesn't sound too weird. Especially the dialogues. She's the MVP and I'd die for her. 
> 
> Here's the playlist, if you're interested: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3tf2VD2ev3kT3799PVl6g5?si=io9-Xh8YTk2v-vbEvvtn3w
> 
> Hans is spelled like that to showcase that they're non-binary. Back then they/them hadn't been reclaimed yet. I wanted them and Moblit to be cool teens in love with zero fucks to give about the social norms of the time. And when I shortened Moblit to Mob, I thought it was hilarious because he's baking cookies. But not just any cookies.
> 
> Okay. So, this needs a bit of context. On January 3 of 1959, there was a plane crash on a frozen cornfield that killed Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and Richardson (The Big Bopper). That day was later called The Day the Music Died, and personally, I agree with it. Those three were the last ones standing in the rock 'n' roll scene. This is especially so because it happened just before the 1960s, when the social revolution happened, and the civil rights movements really started picking up steam. There's also a mention of San Francisco, and that's because that was where the Summer of Love happened. With all the hippies and the good vibes. That's what I wanted here. Good vibes.  
> Also, Erwin and Levi being 18 and in love in 1950s attire, with the music playing. There's a bit of 50s slang and mannerisms, too.
> 
> At this point, everyone is tired of me and the oldies but I can't not have music. Especially not this time. 
> 
> Oh, before I go, the title is a lyric from Don McLean's American Pie (one of my favourite songs of all time). Dancing was serious business back then. You only danced with people you really liked. People kicked off their shoes to dance back then. Not everyone did it, and when they did it meant that they really liked the person they were dancing with. 
> 
> That's all. Hope that anyone who decides to give this a read enjoys it a bit.

* * *

Levi held the pink carnation Erwin gave him and turned it in his hands, knowing that an era was about to end. It was July of 1959 and Erwin felt it, too. He knew that was the last summer of their youth. They’d both enlist, as all boys their age had to. But Erwin was optimistic about it. He and his dad were pushing for change, helping the civil rights people. It was a simmering pot of injustice and violence that was about to be brought to a boil. Yet, all that mattered for the night was Buddy Holly singing _That’ll be the Day_ from beyond his early grave on the radio of Erwin’s new bright blue Chevvy pickup truck. It was still odd not having Buddy anymore. He’d been there in their early teens. Now they were 18, and he hadn’t been alive for their last school dance. It’d felt like something had died with him, Valens, and Richardson on that cornfield. 

The reason Levi skipped on the dance had nothing to do with the death of their favourite white rock ‘n’ roll stars and more to do with the person he wanted to dance with, who’d gone with a girl, as was right. Levi couldn’t pretend to humour any girls, as much as he’d have liked to be there and seen Erwin dance, even if with someone else. Levi was sure it’d been a sight when their friend Hans showed up in a pinstripe suit, full makeup, and heels, and shocked everyone in the gym. Moblit was the strongest guy he knew for not saying anything when some people jeered him and asked where his dress was. Moblit had said he couldn’t get it fitted on time, but next time he’d wear one for sure. That had shut them up. Moblit was the strongest guy anybody knew where Hans was concerned, and he didn’t care about opinions. If Hans was a reckless oddball, Moblit would fall in line and keep up. The couple wore matching suits, and both kicked off their shoes to dance. They had more fun than anybody else in the gym that night. They knew if any love there was true it was theirs, and maybe that’s what protected them.

But Levi hadn’t wanted to ask a poor girl he didn’t like to the dance. That was a jerk thing to do. If Mob and Hans’s love protected them from the mean comments, Levi’s blues and sinful love would have killed them both. 

That Saturday night was balmy and colourful. Shimmering like a jittery rainbow after a heavy downpour. Music filled the streets with people in colourful outfits. The neon signs flashed in glimpses outside the rolled-down window. And he was sitting in Erwin’s pickup truck, unsure if he was dreaming. Lavern Baker sang _Soul on Fire,_ and she was still alive and kicking.

“You don’t have to do this, Erwin,” Levi said, blowing smoke out of the window and flicking his cigarette with a trembling hand, glancing at him, “this is nuts.”

Erwin smiled. “I don’t, but I want to,” he said, quietly chewing his peppermint gum, “you’re the one I wanted to dance with. My feet were killing me the whole night.”

It was heart-stopping and soul-wrecking the way he was so comfortable with it. The way he’d gone to find him at his place on that Saturday night, the night after their graduation dance. Erwin was unafraid as he stood under his window in his pleated trousers and suspenders over a white t-shirt. His hair was a mess, swaying in the warm summer wind. The headlights of his pickup were on to illuminate the night, and he shone like a beacon. Erwin also didn’t care what it looked like when he whistled so loudly with two fingers in his mouth until he showed up. And then grinned at him, waving and beckoning him over, ignoring the neighbours. Erwin was holding a flower in his hand. Levi went down to talk to him in a haze and saw that it was a pink carnation when he handed it to him and asked him to go to the dance with him.

All Levi had done was take the flower and get in the truck with him. 

“I’m the one you wanted to dance with?” Levi asked back.

Erwin nodded and shifted the gear. “That’s what I said,” he confirmed.

“And you mean it?”

Erwin popped a chewing gum bubble and smiled. “I sure do, baby,” he said, glancing at him. Levi opened his mouth and gripped the stem of the pink carnation. 

“What made you think that I’d be into that?” he asked, not hiding the light note of frustration, but he didn’t let go of the flower, “You’re as crazy as Hans.”

“Crazier,” Erwin corrected with a grin, “Hans gets away with stuff, I wouldn’t. Or _we_ wouldn’t,” he said, almost hopeful, “Nothing made me think you were into it, but I wanted to believe you were,” he said simply, “my dad’s alright with it, too. He’s friends with some of the Beats and plenty of them are queers.”

He said it. _Queers_. Levi stared at him in silence, lost for words. It was still Lavern singing on the radio, and she was asking _‘How can you leave a man like this?’._

Levi didn’t know what he was supposed to say or do. It wasn’t right. Everyone knew it wasn’t right. A man shouldn’t love another like that. Yet, he’d fallen for the nerdy quarterback, and that feeling was painful but good. He’d fallen for the unassuming Teddy Boy who’d vouched for him when he wanted to join the football team and was told he was too small. Because he could see that his size wouldn’t affect his performance. And he was right, of course. 

“Take a picture,” Erwin teased, “lasts longer.”

“You’re mad, completely mad,” Levi muttered, “if this is some kind of joke, I…”

He didn’t get to finish his sentence because they’d arrived at the side of their school, and Erwin stopped the truck. The music stopped with it and the hum of the cooling engine and the insects buzzing in the warm air of the night weren’t loud enough to dampen the drumming of Levi’s heartbeat. Before he could breathe, Erwin reached an arm around the nape of his neck and cupped his head in his warm, clammy hand, making him face him. His eyes shimmered in the dim light, and they were as honest as they’d always been. 

“I won’t kiss you without your permission,” Erwin said softly but firmly, “I need to know that you feel the same. I will die before offending you.”

“Isn’t it dangerous?” Levi asked in return, voice small, wary. He knew the answer to that, but he needed Erwin to tell him why he was so confident about it.

“It is,” Erwin offered mildly, the anxiety in his tone subsided, and he smiled before adding, “but I don’t mind it. I know this isn’t just a crush. You know I had my eye on you from the moment we fought those jerks in the park when they tried to mug us.”

Levi stared. “That was,” he paused, his hands tingling, “three years ago, Erwin.”

“It was,” Erwin confirmed, “I needed time to think about it, but now I’m sure.”

“But you know what they do to queers,” Levi insisted, almost desperate. _Reasoning._

“I do,” Erwin said and smiled, “but I also know we can fight them.”

That was it, Levi thought, that’s why he was so sure about it. He thought they could fight off the guys who wanted to kill them. And maybe Levi was mad, but he was 18 and in love with his best friend. He wanted to believe him. And feelings couldn’t be reasoned with.

“If you want to kiss me, then do,” he said at last. Erwin was smiling when their lips connected, and they kissed clumsily on the front seats of his pickup. Levi knew then that that was right. It was warm, wet, and tasted like peppermint and smoke. It tasted like those songs. It was worth crying a river for.

* * *

Erwin was right. He was crazier than Hans. Hans had adopted a new name and rejected all pronouns until some came up that fit. Hans was a different type of crazy. For one, Hans wasn’t the one skulking around their high school at 1 in the morning.

The next part of Erwin’s plan included an insane idea that he’d devised with Hans’ help. Erwin was agile for someone his size, so Levi wasn’t surprised to see him climb the fence with the ease of a vault jumper. Levi was nimbler than he was and jumped first. Erwin made quite a bit of noise when he fell on both feet on the other side. 

“Are you sure this is cool? Nobody will show up?”

“Yep,” Erwin promised, “Hans got the guard out of the game with the help of our friend Pepto-Bismol.”

Levi rubbed his eyes with his index and thumb. “You gave the poor bastard the runs? How the hell did you do that?”

“Hans did it, not me,” Erwin explained, lighting the way with a zippo, holding Levi’s hand, “and Mob baked the cookies.”

“Jesus…” Levi muttered, “poor bastard never did anything wrong.” 

A smile finally bloomed on his face when he heard Erwin snicker in the dark. The zippo cast eerie shadows on the path. Levi began to feel the thrill then. The thrill of being there with Erwin. The thrill he’d listened in the songs. 

Erwin had the keys to all the doors. When Erwin slammed the light lever on, and light flooded the gym, Levi realised it was yet to be cleaned up from the dance. Confetti was strewn across the floor in small, colourful heaps, and the faint smell of smoke and sweat lingered. The sound was still there – a pile of records and a record player connected to two large speakers – and they had the gym all to themselves.

Levi laughed when he heard Ritchie Valens’ _La Bamba_ , that song in Spanish everyone loved without knowing the meaning of the words. “Nice pick,” Levi said, “I still don’t know what a Bamba is.”

Erwin laughed because he didn’t know either. Levi saw him toe off his penny loafers and shimmy towards him barefoot and with way too much grace and groove for it to be possible to resist him. Levi hesitated but then snorted and kicked off his own shoes. Erwin held his hands out, and Levi grabbed them and fell into the rhythm. He wasn’t drunk, neither of them was, but they might as well have been. 

Levi’s uncertainty vanished when his body started moving to the music, in sync with Erwin’s, their eyes locked.

“ _Por ti sere, por ti sere_ …” Erwin mouthed with a grin. 

Levi chortled. “You don’t even know what he’s saying, nerd,” he exclaimed over the music but shaking it anyway. He couldn’t stop, “Wouldn’t this look better if one of us was wearing a dress?”

“I can wear a dress for you next time,” Erwin said as the music ended, “but that’s bogus, it looks good with nothing but white tees as well.”

The song changed, and Valens showed his rockabilly colours and sang _Oh! My Head._

“Can you dance this one?” Erwin teased, and Levi looked up at him.

“You better not drop me, jerkpot,” Levi warned, and Erwin winked, beaming. 

“Don’t drop me either, baby,” Erwin said, and they started to move. Fast, in sync, and without missing any moves. Levi had never danced like that, but he’d seen people dance like that, and he knew the moves by heart from seeing them. All he'd wanted was to dance them with the person who'd make him want to take off his shoes on a grody floor. He wouldn't have danced it with anybody else.

Erwin’s size let him fling Levi high and grip him tightly, spinning, kicking, having Levi do flips under his legs. He was pushed back as the tradition demanded and pretended to fall before getting up with a swift kip-up and moving in again. 

They were a bit winded and covered in sweat after 2 minutes of that fast-paced madness. It didn’t matter. 

“I wish I could take a picture of you now,” Erwin said softly when he pulled Levi to his chest, and they started swaying to Valens’ _Stay Beside Me_ and moved slowly, holding him. Levi didn’t hate being shorter than Erwin. He liked the feeling of leaning his head against his chest and hearing his heartbeat. It was music, too.

“Why?”

“I’ve never seen you so happy. God, do you understand how mad I am for you?” Erwin said softly, circling Levi’s waist with his arms and letting him hold him around the neck. 

“Mad enough to whistle in front of my house in the middle of the night.” They swayed all through the kiss that Erwin leant over to press against his lips. Levi didn’t complain when Erwin picked him up and held him around the waist to kiss him better. The kisses got better as they kissed through more Valens’ songs. Levi understood then why making out was such a big deal when you felt so much.

Levi didn’t know what made him say it, but when they broke away from the kiss, and he was still in Erwin’s arms he whispered into his lips. “I love you like a corny rock’n’roll song, you kookie man.”

Erwin’s smile and flushed cheeks were something he’d have loved to take a picture of, too. “Kookie is the sweetest thing you’ve ever called me,” he said, then he said it back, “and there’s no fear in the world that can stop me from loving you, dreamy.” 

That was the last summer of their youth as it had been until then, and Erwin was a teenager with a pink carnation and a pickup truck. There was no shame in loving. No shame at all. 

When he lay on the bed of his truck out in a dark road with Levi, they watched the stars – as one did with the person they loved – and they made out to Buddy Holly's _True Love Ways_. And held hands under the warm summer sky.

“We should move to San Francisco when we get discharged,” Erwin said with a smile, “I hear the revolution is already starting there. They have flowers.”

“And will they like queers there?”

“Probably.”

That was enough for them. Probably was better than no. It was ’59. The future was uncertain, and the music was dying, but their feelings were blooming. The revolution was about to start. And the promise of freedom and justice hung hot in the air. 

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> I'm @silverfurioso on twitter.


End file.
